White Elephant Drawing Results

Dear America, The Ticket will shake up our lineup for your entertainment and our discomfort on Wednesday December 5, 2012. Here are the results of this morning’s drawing and swap meet. Mornings 5:30-10am Hosts: Norm Hitzges, Donavan Lewis Yukmonkey: George Duncan* Tickers: Dan McDowell Midmorning 10-noon Host: Gordon “Radio Golden Boy” Keith Tickers: Mike Rhyner [...]

In A World Without Hostess

A Girl Assaulting Me And Other Granada Theater Photos

Bill Ellison, the official Granada photographer, sent me six nice pics from the CF Concert Series. (Thank you, Bill.) You can see more of Bill’s fine work here.

Rhett Miller and Gordon Keith perform “Time After Time.”

Let me tell you about this Rhett Miller. He’s so kind to me that I want to wrap him in bacon and eat him alongside goopy cheese grits. Disregard last sentence. We collaborate once a year and he’s always full of compliments and energy. We performed this song at the Granada on Saturday night. Watch [...]

The Disturbing Pic of Matthew McConaughey

This pic chums for nightmares. What the hell is going on here? How did Matthew’s neck go full-blown Toys-R-Us mascot? “According to reports,” Matthew has lost weight for a role as a man suffering from AIDS.

And you thought I asked awkward questions

Watch this bit of awkwardness. Pat Robertson pins a hot younger woman down about pornography. (I hope part of that sentence becomes nutritious Google meat.) Pat also introduces the term “Pornogracy” to the world. Then he calls 50 Shade of Gray the “fastest selling paper book of all time.” I guess Pat is all about [...]

Here Is The Video of Singing Head-Injury Dirk

Don’t Mess With This Old Man

The barefoot country boy in me loves stuff like this. When I was 10, I begged my parents for a “wrist rocket,” a fancy forked slingshot with a wrist bracket that was all the rage among boys on the edge of liking girls. On Saturdays, the banks of the bayou across from my house would [...]

Worst Football Uniform of The Week